


Cold Hands, Splitting Me Apart

by alephthirteen



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Andrea Rojas Has Been Missing Something Half Her Life, Apex Predators of the Lesbian Ecosystem, Because Kara Had to Go Put Her Clothes On, Between Toppy, Diverges at 4x20 when they get back from Kasnia, F/F, F/M, Fortunately Luthors Can Make a Lot Happen With Minimal Tools, Is Kara Danvers, Kara Is Switzerland, Lena Luthor Finds Out Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Lena Luthor-centric, Leviathan is Fucked, New relationships are fragile, Power Dynamics, Snacky CEOs, SuperRojasCorp, The Only Person Who Needs Therapy More than Lena, Then Lena Will Realize That Whips Won't Fit In Her Stylish Little Purse, This Will Pull Up to The Gates of the BDSM Club, and from the ruins, and really Kara isn't thinking at all, certainly no advanced brain function..., it's a dark and stormy Pultizer award, prior SuperCorp, when our tale begins!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:00:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27294601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alephthirteen/pseuds/alephthirteen
Summary: Luthor's don't dress to look nice.  Dressing to kill is between literal and semi-literal for her family.  So when Kara stops short in her regrettable powder blue-dress and her hands start shaking when Lena's eyes meet hers...that's a good thing?  Right?With a girlfriend like that, with shoulders likethoseanything that makes her sag must be powerful indeed.A sudden case of tinnitus seems to have developed.  Everything rings.  Everything is loud and is too much and Kara won't stop, spilling her words out like blood from a wound."...and then one day, you were so angry at Supergirl.  But you still loved Kara.  And I thought if I could be Kara, just Kara...I could keep you as a friend.""Please," Kara gulps.  "say something.Gra mo chroi,say something."What comes out of her mouth surprises Lena more than Kara."Go destroy..."She waves her hand at the auditorium where the battle is shaking the building."...that.""And the instant you're done, superspeed to my penthouse, strip, fold your clothes and wait.  On your knees," Lena hisses.She meant for it to sting but those baby blues are so bright that maybe it backfired.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor/Andrea Rojas, Samantha "Sam" Arias/Alex Danvers
Comments: 11
Kudos: 82





	1. Lena I

**Author's Note:**

> Kara's rather _intense_ reaction to snazzy female CEOs bullying her and her brain-fails whenever Lena is sad basically write Season 5's plotline. I can't realize they missed this...
> 
> \-----
> 
> I'll be doing NaNoWriMo this year and this is the fic I'm keeping as my reward crack for hitting my words-written targets. It may be slow growing until December then but it'll perk up then.

Luthor's don't dress to look nice. Dressing to kill is between literal and semi-literal for her family. So when Kara stops short in her regrettable powder blue-dress and her hands start shaking when Lena's eyes meet hers...that's a good thing? Right? With a girlfriend like that, with shoulders like **those** anything that makes her sag must be powerful indeed.

A sudden case of tinnitus seems to have developed. Everything rings. Everything is loud and is too much and Kara won't stop, spilling her words out like blood from a wound.  
"...and then one day, you were so angry at Supergirl. But you still loved Kara. And I thought if I could be Kara, just Kara...I could keep you as a friend."  
"Please," Kara gulps. "say something. Gra mo chroi, _say something_."

There's a monster. Because of fucking _course_ there's a monster when Kara her sweet (not so sweet?) girlfriend is bawling, babbling, and admitting that she's the one who fights monsters. Because of course something interrupts them as Lena's brain is pinballing through every moment when she wanted to scream because it was scary and Kara had disappeared. Every time. Every single time, before the bullet or knife or bomb could take a pound of Lena's flesh for Lex's crimes, Supergirl descended. The sun-goddess, radiant and _beyond_ lesser beings and sizzling with wrath. The closer the call for Lena, the more Kara's approach to the threat scared her. In case after case, defense attorneys for tough-guy mercs and hired killers whined. Shook on the stand recounting their fights. One, memorably, pissed himself, shrieked, and fainted when Kara-as-reporter slid into a seat in the courtroom to report on the trial. He never said why and the fact that it happened that exact instant was written off. Some critics call for charges against Supergirl after each save. Assault with a deadly. Attempted manslaughter. Otis Graves sued her for emotional suffering from supermax, something that amuses Lena to no end.

That one case when Kara replied to a bounty placed on Lena in the alien community with a promise that aliens would never thrive on Earth if they could not forgive. That clip on Twitter hits different in hindsight. An alien with the power to sterilize the planet's entire surface was hinting to her fellow refugees that Lena's survival dictated theirs. When it was made clear that Lena was off-limits in a publicly visible manifesto, that was when they were 'just friends'.

A fresh scream, a whizzing noise from Alex Danvers' alien gun, and a dusting of plaster shaking loose from the ceiling remind them of a time limit.

Kara will have to go deal with that and Lena should just let her. Just let her go. A nod towards the problem, huff out her title and set her jaw, steel herself and close up...in the way that makes Kara Danvers shake. Tell the alien to fuck off in the way that she knows her human girlfriend can't get enough of.

Kara saw the tail end of Lena's little duel with Eve Tessmacher in the jet in Kasnia. As soon as the wheels went up, Kara climbed into Lena's lap, turned Lena's face upwards and kissed her. Gasped into her mouth about how it's _okay to be weak_ because Lena is loved and there's _no world without Lena in it Kara can live in_. Kara putting her glasses in one hand when they kissed and putting Lena's other in that (apparently literally) inhumanly amazing hair felt like a goddamned marriage proposal. She gave Lena her permission to take away the glasses she fiddled with when she was scared and the hair she bunched up so as not to outshine other women. There's no forcing the insanity of their first week together. A four-year-old friendship caught fire like a forest struck by lightning when they first kissed. Lena can't find a shred of a lie in _them_. In their surroundings, yes. In the flock of badasses that Supergirl surrounds herself with who play boardgames with Kara, yes. In Kara...no. Perhaps if Lena had ever just asked if Kara was Supergirl straight on, yes or no, rather than implying and commenting about the resemblance, she wouldn't be standing here feeling like she's about to puke mediocre champagne onto the expensive, antique carpet.

When she asks Kara a question and makes it clear she wants an answer, she gets it.

She asked Kara why Kara led her on, letting her think she was straight. Kara didn't hesitate, lie or deflect. Didn't do any of the things Lena's so afraid of and sexuality is a private identity. Not so far from alienness. She thought for a few seconds and said it was that she couldn't deal with just how queer she was. In fact, after an adorable half-hour of croaked non-words, it turned out she could only explain how amazing and sexy and wanted Lena was if she closed her eyes and snuggled into the crook of Lena's neck because looking at Lena took too much of her brain, she claimed. Kara said she had never felt more than a throb about a girl before, never interest. Never yearning that lasted past a few messy strokes and an orgasm. Never had someone spin her whole world, throwing her off course as Lena did.

Lena can barely hear, her pulse is so fast from her anger. Summoning all the wickedness and sickness in her Luthor blood, she still can't sour the memory of that messy first time in the corporate jet, teeth clacking, fingers squeezing and flicking, and diving in and the stains on the upholstery that the ground crew still gripes about. Sizzling with post-kill adrenaline and too much, far, far far too fast give what they hadn't said. There was more honesty than in Kara's moans and random, untutored touches than in all of the gold diggers, would-be sugar babies, and every other well-practiced woman to ever sling Lena's thighs over her shoulders. Kara's earnestness boiled away memories of fuckbuddies and one-night stands into a multicolored smoke of _not good enough_ in her memory.

The screams are now a symphony from the theater and someone is talking to Kara in a hidden earpiece.

What comes out of her mouth surprises Lena more than Kara.

"Go destroy..."

She waves her hand at the auditorium where the battle is shaking the building.

"...that."

"And the instant you're done, you will superspeed to my penthouse, strip naked, fold your clothes, go to the balcony and wait. On your knees," Lena hisses. She meant for it to sting but those baby blues are so bright that maybe it backfired.

She might not be able to survive Kara's betrayal. It might have been over the instant they met. Doomed. Tragic and star crossed and...no. That's Lex. Lex is stuck on his (probably homoerotic) feelings of betrayal regarding Superman.

Lena is going to call Cat Grant and get some pointers on making Kara small. There's no way Cat Grant didn't look Kara Danvers right in the eyes and ask her. So if anyone knows what Kara looks like lying, telling a big lie, it's Cat. Another reason to reach out.

If all-she-can-eat hate sex with Supergirl and nightly cuddle crying with Kara Danvers can't fix this, it's not fixable in the first place. Lena isn't ready to believe she's that broken.

"Kara?"

"Yes."

"Glasses. You'll get them back at my penthouse. Until then, you _feel_ everything."

Kara takes her glasses off and strokes a finger down one arm in a peculiar way as she folds them.

Blue crystals materialize around Kara's skin. Kudos to Brainy for using the glasses as a trigger.

The new suit does look good. She wanted one with pants, Supergirl told Lena. Like that suit Lena wore when they went to Lex's prison. If Lena had been designing it to make Supergirl into eye candy, she wouldn't have changed a single cut, seam, or stretch of fabric over a stretch of muscle. Maybe her libido knew the truth before she did. All the same, Supersuit 3.0 is clearly needed. Anti-Kryptonite tech in every fiber. The heavy-armor hardsuit will have to be redone ground up. She can dip into the caches of Lillian and Lex's goodies she keeps in the vaults. She will need Lex's research on Kryptonite-X to really make this work.

Kara being Supergirl ruins Lena's ideal fantasy threesome. If Kara wants to be forgiven for taking that fever dream away, she has to come home. Every time.


	2. Lena II

Lena pulls her coat tighter. This must be the one actually chilly night Southern California will have this year.

She starts towards the valet's podium but hesitates.

Call her limo or drive herself home.

Her dilemma every time she steps out of her house. She's out of practice. For almost a year months, her work for the DEO to leverage Harun-El for their human troops has meant being escorted to work by Supergirl or a company of DEO troops.

Lena's never been one hundred percent comfortable using a driver service. One more person who can betray her. She's also smart enough to know when she has to. Any social setting that might stress her out (that is, almost all of them) might lead to impulsive behavior that tickles the underside of the iconic Luthor alcoholism. 

Tonight she's easily sober enough to drive. Thanks to Kara's appetite and her desire to be near her girlfriend, Lena actually ate a meal. What the other patrons must have thought of Lena Luthor stepping into a pathetic, if up-to-code Chinese joint of the sort that _framed_ its A rating from the Board of Health. Kara naturally knew the name of the place, mandarin pronunciations of the dishes, and the name of every employee.

She has an actual meal and a half-glass of champagne in her system. Better than her usual Tuesday night by miles. Maybe she should have a near-miss total heartbreak every day.

She could click the remote and summon her car. Ten to fifteen minute wait while it blithely navigated the streets and paying a fine to the state of California for the use of self-driving cars on public streets. Payable on the web. No one in her income bracket sees that as a fine. It's a tax.

Lena taps the jury-rigged smartwatch on her wrist.

"HOPE?"

"Yes, Miss Luthor?"

"How far am I from my building?"

"One point one eight six miles."

"One and a quarter would be a more typical phrasing, HOPE."

"Noted."

Lena chews her cheek while she thinks. She goes into her pocket for the beta-test obsidian lenses Andrea gave her.

"Walking directions, please. All other projections disabled."

"Projecting now."

A golden thread appears in her vision, skirting the heavily-lit edge of the dog park before disappearing among canyons of steel, concrete, and glass in the business district.

Each of the streetlights is domed in some fully reflective coating and spills nothing up.

In the small gaps between, Lena can look up and take in a clear, starry night. Half the buildings are completely dark and the lights in the rest dimmed to a few percent. The energy-saving initiative the mayor's pushing was wickedly unpopular until Supergirl arrived on the scene. Five years later, it's more popular than _she is_ by thirty points. Turning the lights off at night means more stars. It means a greater chance of glimpsing the city's savior as a swift shadow across the twinkling sky.

When a young mother smiles at her and her little boy squeals ' _Miff Duthor!_ ' through a missing front tooth, Lena barely remembers to react like an actual human being. 

She's standing at the corner of her block before she remembers why the little boy knew her. He had a Crane Elementary sweater. The Pelicans, if Lena remembers right. After the ribbon-cutting ceremony, she did an entirely-for-show book reading in his school's newly-refurbished library. In retrospect, she wonders if the kids didn't think it was damage control PR to humanize her in the middle of the Human Enhancement Project debacle after Lex god ahold of Harun-El. Maybe they just thought an adult was reading to them.

The thread she's been following with her feet leads up to Howard, her doorman. Somewhat disconcertingly, HOPE has recognized that Lena always shakes his hand so the thread tangles in his fingers.

_Sassy for an AI._

She shakes off the daydreams of the robot uprising, forces as much of a smile as she can, and walks up. Howard is a grizzly-bear sized fellow. Maybe sixty. Round bellied and big-boned with a neatly trimmed goatee.

"Evening, Miss Luthor."

"Good evening."

She looks down at her own outstretched hands and his still in his jacket.

"Do I have something on my face?" she jokes.

"No, miss. Just finished my dinner and figured you wouldn't want to wash your hands first."

"Oh?"

"That girl of yours? She came in about ten minutes ago. All smiles. Chocolates, flowers, bottle of wine. You have a nice night."

He taps in her code and her personal door unlocks, revealing an armored glass tube that leads directly to her elevator.

"You too, Howard. Her name is Kara, by the way."

Lena snorts in surprise before pressing the elevator button.

She must really want to fix things. She named the puppy. She told someone Kara's name. Only once before has she admitted another woman was courting her and told someone their name.

**Author's Note:**

> ## Like it? Come holler at me about fanfic!
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